AI Didn't Do That

is ai really the problem we think it is?

I recognize that my style right now is really not a style at all—and maybe that’s okay. What I’m working through these days are questions:
What kind of offerings do I want to make?
What messages feel important?
How can I share something true without slipping into a curated version of myself?

So, dear reader, that brings us to today’s post: a short audio reflection recorded at my desk. The transcript below could have easily been the first draft of a longer post, but I’ve come to realize that longer isn’t always better.

00;00;00;00 - 00;00;50;15

I'm sitting at my desk again today. I've been doing a little bit of reading. Which causes me to think. And thinking creates Substack posts. It's kind of this. Weird thing in the universe. It's unavoidable. It's something that, happens. You do this, you do this, you do this. And that appears interesting. But what I noticed today was an abundance of articles about AI LLMs large language models, artificial intelligence.

00;00;50;17 - 00;01;23;05

Every day there's more and more articles about it. And for the most part, it's talked about like it's a threat. Like the robots are coming to replace us, to outthink us and to trap us in some type of artificial world, a simulation. But, you know, we already are living in one. But it's not a one. It's not one built by code.

00;01;23;07 - 00;02;08;15

Or algorithms or tech gurus. It's one built by expectations, by our performative lifestyle. By the quiet decisions we make every morning to become whatever version of ourselves we think we need today. Whatever performative version of ourself we think will be acceptable, marketable today. We adjust our faces before we walk into a room. We put on our teacher voice, our parent voice, our audience voice.

00;02;08;17 - 00;02;24;15

We speak or write in rhythms. We didn't invent. We laugh to smooth the air. And we hold back the thing, the honest thing.

00;02;24;17 - 00;03;03;25

And this simulation isn't run by algorithms. It's run by us. It's maintained by us every time we choose the polished version of ourself over the real one. Every time we say what we think people want to hear. Every time we edit or curate our presence before it's even been felt. AI  didn't do that. We did that. And the glitch.

00;03;03;28 - 00;03;08;28

The break. The real breath.

00;03;09;01 - 00;03;23;22

Comes in moments in which we forget to perform. When we cry, when it's inconvenient and when we laugh from our bellies.

00;03;23;24 - 00;03;32;29

When we say that thing that feels too raw but too true. To hold back.

00;03;33;02 - 00;03;39;14

So maybe our practice isn't about becoming more present.

00;03;39;16 - 00;03;57;07

Maybe it's just about remembering that masks aren't always required. Not here and not today. And not every time. Maybe that's how we start to see the cracks in the simulation.